All of us come across tough times in our lives. Accidents, illness, family problems, job loss, death, painful breakups and many other disappointments. It’s often very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and easy to feel as if your life is irreparably altered. Grief can lead to feelings of sadness and depression with our mind becoming full of questions like “why me?”, “why didn’t I…”, “why can’t I…” and so.
Dealing with grief is a difficult proposition but is inevitably part of our lives, the sooner we accept this the sooner we will get relief and will be able to grow. While the intensity of loss and grief can easily bowl you over, this feeling won’t last forever. To help yourself work through the grief there are a couple of important things to remember.
It’s not Over Yet
Positive thought goes a very long way, if you tell yourself you are unable to deal with the situation, sooner or later this feeling will manifest yourself. Congratulating yourself on your survival so far and taking life one day at a time will slowly help you deal with your issues. We may not have the ability to change the past, but we have a big say in our present and future.
Turn a negative into a positive
Life can seem a little relentless at times, but it’s important to think about how you felt after the last time life dealt you a blow and how you recovered. Try to think of this situation as an opportunity to change things in your life that you are unhappy about. Large events in your life can make you reassess your own desires and put things into perspective.
Our Reactions are definitely Larger than the Events
Don’t let others decide of how you should be. Be sure to give some thought to the feelings you’re experiencing and don’t let others dictate how you should feel. Make sure you give yourself permission to experience all of the spectrum of your feelings, never let someone else make you feel bad for being real and honest, even if that means you are sometimes sad or angry.
Rely on your Support Network
The source of support changes with the growth of our life, but having a good support network is one of the things that will be most helpful in getting you through this difficult time. Being afraid to ask for support from our loved ones is a big mistake as supportive, healthy relationships can help you talk through your problems and process them, eventually helping to heal them.
Forgive as Fast as You Can
While you will never forget the pain you feel now, forgiving and letting go of it means you are giving yourself permission to move on from your trauma. Thoughts slowly begin to no longer revolve around the trauma and you will find joy in other elements of your life. While it’s impossible to force forgiveness, concentrating on the positive aspects of the past can help the process.
Grief is one of the most intense emotions we can feel and can often be crushing. Depression, anxiety and feelings of hopelessness often accompany this emotion and you can get stuck in destructive thought patterns and overwhelming feelings. Being more mindful of how you deal with problems and how you talk to yourself will help you both with the initial shock of loss and in a more long term positive approach.
Please let us know if these tactics have ever worked for you.